Ive gone to parties and gotten drunk and i feel bad. and when i apologize i mean it. I mean it because i dont want that to be something people define me as. But i really do think it takes strength to apologize to a friend for a bad action youve done. Because it really does show you care about them, right? And when i have one friend and others have so many i feel so meaningless to them. Because i care so much and i try so hard. It doesnt make them a bad friend. It just means i will try harder to keep that one friend i do have. And i hate being put down for that. I said i would change what i do and i dont like being second guessed on that. I really have screwed up lately and done a lot of shit im not proud of. So what if i think i suck? If i do i do. It shouldnt matter. But your opinion matters to me because you matter to me. :| loooooong ass vent.